Time Is On My Side.......I HOPE! Day: 19

So “time” is what we now deal with.  I asked today, “What is going to help Garrett’s small lungs?”  And the answer I get is, “Time.” 

He needs to eat and grow stronger, which is hard for him.  However eating and growing stronger is what needs to happen.  Garrett’s insides are not exactly in prime shape for eating.  His stomach and intestines lived in his chest for most of his life.  So they are not exactly sure what they are supposed to be doing.  Plus all CDH babies usually have pretty severe reflux, so spitting up is a common thing; which you don’t exactly want them doing when you are trying to get them to gain weight.   So it is kind of a perpetual cycle.  A cycle that will take a lot of TIME.  As for how much time, who knows?  It could be another month…….or three.  No telling.

One thing that is for sure, Garrett LOVES to be held by his mom.  He hates the CPAP.  Just as he starts to fall asleep in his isolette, he will wake up and grab at his nasal cannulas trying to pull them out.  He has royally scratched up his face and chest in his regular attempts at their removal.   When I hold him though he is out like a log.  If he starts to get mad, I will just rock a little harder and talk to him and he settles right back down.  They have been weaning his sedation drugs at a pretty good pace, so he is awake more and more.  He is up some of the time when I hold him and he just stares at me and does normal baby faces.  At times I do forget where we are.  For brief moments I am just a normal mom holding a normal baby.  Then one of his machines alarms or beeps and I am brought back to reality.  He is pretty immune to the sounds of his room at this point.

 All the nurses and doctors agree that he is a baby that thrives from being held.  He enjoys it; so do I.  I figure he is a baby that desperately needs time being just ‘held’.  Most babies just get bundled up and handed back to their mother, but not my Garrett.  From the moment he was born, all human contact has been bad.  He has had tubes in every orifice of his body, he has had IV’s/PICC Lines/Central Lines, he has had an operation to rearrange his major organs…..you get the idea……humans were not his friends.  So I want him to know we are not so bad, especially his mom.  So when I hold him it is all good stuff.  No needles.  No blood pressure cuff.  Just mom and Garrett and a boppy (and an occasional binky).  I think we both enjoy our time together.  The time does fly by when I am holding him.  Hours pass like minutes and another day is gone.