I have had a hard time this week with learning a little more about after delivery. I was aware that I would not be able to hold the baby once delivered since he will be put on a ventilator. I had in my head that I would sit there and rub his arm or hold his hand and talk to him since I could not hold him. Well, after reading blogs from other CDH moms, it looks like I do not really get to touch him or even really talk to him. The reasoning behind it seems to be that babies are easily stimulated and these stimulations that throw off CDH babies vitals - i.e. blood pressure, breathing, etc. Though I did NOT like finding this out, (I still need to confirm with my doctor this is how things are at our hospital and I will next week at my next appointment) I would rather KNOW going into it that I would not be able to touch him versus finding out once I arrived at the NICU.
During this whole pregnancy I keep comparing myself to Dumbo's mom. There is so much I want to do for the baby, but there is only so much I can do for him. He is going to have to do a LOT for himself.
You are doing a great job of preparing yourself and learning as much as you can beforehand. At least you will be going into it knowing that they probably won't let you hold him right away. I wasn't prepared for that so it was hard when they immediately took Maleah to the NICU. It was for the best, but hard. I delivered with the same dr as you but not at the same hospital so I can't say for sure what they'll do either. I'll pray that you get to hold that sweet baby at least for a minute to two before they check him over!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand the not being able to talk to him. He has heard your voice the whole pregnancy. It seems your voice would bring him comfort.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart that you may not get to hold him right away but I really, really hope that you do.
ReplyDeleteI know it will be hard for you, but you are very strong and courageous. You will do what is best for him at the time. I will keep praying for him, you and Paul.
ReplyDeleteJanna, I have been reading your posts here and on facebook. Your baby is so lucky to have you and Paul as parents. I know you feel helpless but you are doing everything you can by reading and researching - as well as teaching others- about CDH. You are your little guy's strength, therefore I know he will be strong and a fighter. I will continue to pray for all of you.
ReplyDeleteJanna, this is a beautiful post. This song is beautiful too
ReplyDeleteI know we talked about it the other day, but Baby Boy will let you know what he can and cannot tolerate. At the beginning, it may not be much, especially if activity/stimulation throws off his vitals, but you'll find SOMETHING that is reassuring but not too stimulating to him!
ReplyDeleteYou are doing a fantastic job about educating yourself on what to expect. I know there is still a lot that will be unknown until the day comes, but knowing as much as you can about the things that you know are going to happen is nothing but helpful!
I am so proud of you for how well you are handling this! I know it's not easy and I'm sure you have your moments of sadness and weakness, but the determination you have to make sure this baby has every chance possible for a happy and healthy outcome is amazing! Love you!